Billy the Martian

I just sent a mildly amusing email to the guys at Powerline.

Thought I’d share it here, too. Dave might be amused.

Hi Powerline fellas,

First off, keep up the good work. I read your blog daily and I’m a big fan.

Given your recent interactions with Nick Coleman, I thought you might be amused by the following anecdote.

Yesterday, while at my office, I got a phone solicitation from the Star and Tribune. It started off with that pause that we’ve all come to know and hate, where you know the person on the other end hasn’t heard you say hello, because the automated equipment they’re using to dial victims hasn’t got things synced up yet. Then this very folksy grandmotherly lady says, “Hello? Oh, my goodness. I thought I was dialing my old friends, the Newtons. They must have re-assigned that number recently!”

Now, here, I had to laugh. My workplace has had that phone number for nearly nine years. And I’m familiar with the organization that had the number before us — we get calls for them on occasion. They must have had the number for several years before us. All in all, a pretty weak story she’s spinning.

Next, she says, “Well, anyway, I’m calling from your local hometown newspaper…” Well, thanks to Caller-ID, I already know she’s calling from the Trib. What’s with the folksy approach, anyway? Do they consider us, their potential customers, a bunch of dumb hicks? And they’ve never heard of Caller-ID? I suppose it’s too much to expect some level of honesty from the telemarketing wing of the paper.

I couldn’t resist, at this point, so I broke in: “Tell you what.” She paused in her script. I said, “Fire Nick Coleman, and I’ll consider getting your newspaper again.”

She laughed right away — there was no pause for shock or surprise. Somehow, I think maybe she’s heard that one before!

I hung up while she was laughing — wish I hadn’t.

Anyway, keep up the good work.

-Bill